Thursday, July 26, 2007

I don't look like this anymore

...and I am not happy about it.

If the choice were mine alone, I would've grown that thing until I was 150 years old. Damn it felt good.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

day 21

Much more to say, including a full post-mortem.

All I can say right now is good night, sweet prince.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

day 20

For some reason, having a moustache makes me want to wink all the time. And sing. Oh, and save the world.

Friday, July 20, 2007

day 19

I have to be honest, I miss the soul patch a little bit. It gave it balance -- and you could almost believe for a minute that I thought I was cool. Now I am firmly in Peeping Tom territory. Two days left. I haven't been able to break the news to the little fella.

My dad took a look at my face the other day and told me I looked like Clark Gable. I think understanding Gable's moustache is key to understanding why the moustache has become nearly extinct. For generations, a moustache was a sign of elegance and dignity. Women liked it. It was high-class. Gable personified this.

Then when Burt Reynolds started wearing an overaggressive machostache in the 70's, it got all fucked up. First off, let me say that Burt Reynolds, with or without moustache, is one of the baddest dudes of all time. I love Burt Reynolds. But the whole hairy-chested, thick-moustached, macho man thing that happened then turned the moustache from a symbol of refinement into a sign of rebellion and untamed hypermasculinity. Then as an offshoot of that it became associated with homosexuality.

And as we looked back on those times, the whole "macho man" era became something of a joke. And of course there is nothing that scares the average straight man more than being mistaken for gay. So the moustache died -- After Selleck (A.S.), who was grandfathered in, no straight or gay man* could wear one without being ridiculed.

Only now, with the Reynolds era a safe distance in the rear view mirror, have we begun to once again explore the moustache in an unironic way. Let's bring it back. Grow it for Gable, people.

P.S. One of the most underrated and consistent moustaches of the last 40 years:

* Again, we are talking about white men. Moustaches have continued to flourish in the latino and african-amercian communities.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

day 18

We are nearing the end of this wondrous journey, my dear moustache and I.

In the next few days, I will reflect on how the experience has changed me forever. Until then...if we can agree that the cashier at the Whole Foods Body Shop on 25th and 7th has the most intense and dangerous beard in NYC, then this fella I saw on Court street has the most aggressive and captivating moustache. You can click on the pic to enlarge. I wish I could have gotten a better shot but he was angry about something and probably would have killed me. If you can't make it out, he has a big gruff facial hair unit sticking a good three inches out from his face. And in his moustache, there are these rubber band curler type things. He looked like a crazed ram or something. I felt like a novice jazz musician stumbling into a dive bar and coming upon Charlie Parker performing in his prime.

"You're why we do this," I said under my breath.

He just kept on chewing out one of the guys from the hardware store.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

day 17

"Soul patch" (that's embarrassing just to type) comes off on Friday morning. Entire thing comes off Monday morning, I think. Cannot show up at work with this patch of ridiculousness on my face. If you knew the culture of our office, you'd understand.

I am gonna miss this thing. I have this small itch to commit a crime (shoplifting?), so the eyewitnesses can describe me as "about 6'1", dark hair, green eyes, and a moustache." That would make it all seem real.

P.S. Yes I did get a big ol' red pimple at the end of my nose. Tough break but it won't stop me. Would it stop this guy?

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

day 16

I hate to say this, but I am starting to feel kind of sexy.